Just jokes

[mytime]

A gentleman in the upper reaches of his 'third age' begins dating a much younger woman, and after a time he asks her to marry him. The woman accepts, and as they talk of the life they'll have together she says, "And who knows, dear, we might even have children."

"No, my love," he says, "my parents won't allow it."

"Your parents?" she says, astounded.

"Yes," he says. "Mother Nature and Father Time."

[mytime]

1. Some people are very bossy and like to tell everyone what to do, but of course they do not wish to soil their hands. You might call that type "Dick Tator."

2. Some people never seem to be motivated to participate. They are content to watch while others do. They are "Speck Tators."

3. Some people never do anything to help, but they are gifted at finding fault with the way others do things. They might be called "Comment Taters."

4. Some people are always looking for ways to cause problems. They look or others to agree with them. You call them "Aggie Taters."

5. Then there are those who always say they will, but somehow never get around to doing anything. They are "Hezzie Taters."

6. Some people put on a front and act like they are someone they are not. They are "Emma Taters."

7. Still, there are those who live what they talk. They are always prepared to stop what they are doing to lend a hand. They bring real sunshine into others' lives. You might call them "Sweet Taters."

[mytime]

Most of the proverbs we grew up with are out-dated now: "A bird in hand is worth two in the bush?" Why not just go to the supermarket and get as many birds as you want?

"A stitch in time saves nine?" What did that EVER mean?

We've got a solution to this linguistic conundrum -- updated proverbs:

* What boots up must come down.
* Fax is stranger than fiction.
* Don't byte off more than you can view.
* The geek shall inherit the earth.
* The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
* Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.