Erotic Adult Vacation

A beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy that's so homely looking, he hasn't had a date in over a year. He's sooooo dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his head to see how long he slept. So he figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score a date with this ravishing buxom blonde. Then suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender yells out, 'last call for alcohol.' The blonde leans over to the guy and says, 'Let's have this last drink at my apartment.' Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters the word 'OK.' They get up from the bar stool arm & arm headed for the door, when the blonde stops him and says, 'Before we go back to my apartment there's one thing I have to tell you, I'm on my menstrual cycle.'
He says, 'That's ok, I'll follow you in my Honda'.

Two Blondes rob a bank and all they get away with are two sacks, so they keep one each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, "What did you find in your sack?"
"Half a million"
"Aw ... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?"
"I bought a house. How about your sack?"
"Bah ... it was full of bills"
"And what did you do with them?"
"Well ... little by little, I'm paying them off ... "

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.
"I'm going to do that when I win the lot tery," announced Blonde #1.
"Do what?" asked Blonde #2.
"Send my lawn out to be mowed."

The blonde lesbian kept having affairs with men.

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down.
He gets out his light and says, "Open wide".
"I can't," replies the blonde, "this chair's got arms."

Well they say a picture is worth a thousand words and this one says it all.....

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The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! She said, "I have some really great news!"
I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."
She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!
I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!"
Then she said, "There's more."
I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said.... "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pre-gnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!"

Why did the blonde pull her dildo out before she came?

She wasn't on the pill.

This could have gone under funny signs, but once you see it you know why I put it under "stupid people"

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The doctor said to his blomde patient, You look very weak and exhausted! Are you having your three meals a day as I advised.

The blonde answered, "I thought you said three males a day."