11-03-2011, 08:24 PM
11-03-2011, 10:19 PM
Brunette: HIDE! THERES A SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE!!!
Blonde: OH NO!!!! *runs to kitchen*
Brunette: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
Blonde: HIDING MY FRUIT LOOPS! WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM DOING![/align]
Blonde: OH NO!!!! *runs to kitchen*
Brunette: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
Blonde: HIDING MY FRUIT LOOPS! WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM DOING![/align]
11-07-2011, 08:16 PM
Blonde Mary was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn't find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case.
When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "The wife of the defendant has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?"
"Well, yes," acknowledged Mary with a sniff, "but I couldn't help it."
"Couldn't help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How's that?"
"Mr. Evans deceived me."
"Exactly what do you mean?"
"See, when we signed in," she explained, "He told the motel clerk I was his wife."
When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "The wife of the defendant has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?"
"Well, yes," acknowledged Mary with a sniff, "but I couldn't help it."
"Couldn't help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How's that?"
"Mr. Evans deceived me."
"Exactly what do you mean?"
"See, when we signed in," she explained, "He told the motel clerk I was his wife."
11-17-2011, 04:53 PM
Blonde Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Blonde Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Blonde Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Blonde Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah that one does work..
Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Blonde Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
(ok - so these could have gone under computer jokes .... but they are blonde jokes)
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Blonde Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Blonde Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Blonde Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah that one does work..
Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Blonde Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
(ok - so these could have gone under computer jokes .... but they are blonde jokes)
11-28-2011, 07:53 PM
Q. How do you teach a blond math?
A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.
A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.
12-07-2011, 10:23 PM
You know what a blonde girl is?
A concept to make us believe that the other women are intelligent.
(I'm going to hell for sure for this one).
A concept to make us believe that the other women are intelligent.
(I'm going to hell for sure for this one).
12-12-2011, 09:56 AM
Tech support: How may I help you?
Blonde Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Blonde Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
Blonde Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Blonde Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
12-13-2011, 02:38 AM
The Washington Biological Survey has had to reword the Wash. Biol. Surv. wildlife tags its researchers place on crows due to complaints from the terminally dim that the crows, once washed, boiled and served, tasted simply terrible.
01-07-2012, 03:43 AM
A blonde woman goes to the supermarket. She starts walking up and down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch. After doing this a for a number of aisles a store clerk approaches her and ask if she is having a problem. She shakes her head and says "no.'"
Perplexed he asks why she stops at each aisle and touches her head, ears, breasts, and crotch.
"Oh,"says the blonde, "I'm just trying to remember my grocery list."
Puzzled,he asks for an explanation, so she goes thru the motions again.
She touches her head and says, "Head of lettuce."
Ears."Two ears of corn."
Breasts."Two chicken breasts."
Crotch."Fantastic."
Perplexed he asks why she stops at each aisle and touches her head, ears, breasts, and crotch.
"Oh,"says the blonde, "I'm just trying to remember my grocery list."
Puzzled,he asks for an explanation, so she goes thru the motions again.
She touches her head and says, "Head of lettuce."
Ears."Two ears of corn."
Breasts."Two chicken breasts."
Crotch."Fantastic."
01-16-2012, 04:08 PM
Blonde Medical Terminology
Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited
Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited