10-06-2008, 03:00 AM
10-09-2008, 01:46 AM
Q: What do you call an adolescent rabbit?
A: A pubic hare.
Q: What do a Speedo and a cheap hotel have in common?
A: No ball room.
Q: What is a man's view of safe sex?
A: A padded headboard.
Q: What's a dildo farmer's greatest threat?
A: Squatters.
A: A pubic hare.
Q: What do a Speedo and a cheap hotel have in common?
A: No ball room.
Q: What is a man's view of safe sex?
A: A padded headboard.
Q: What's a dildo farmer's greatest threat?
A: Squatters.
10-15-2008, 09:03 AM
What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
They're both filled with stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other!
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
They're both filled with stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other!
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
10-18-2008, 01:40 PM
A FAIRY TALE
One day, long, long ago there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch. But this was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.
The End.
One day, long, long ago there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch. But this was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.
The End.
10-20-2008, 12:15 PM
My wife makes love like a chess player, every twenty minutes she moves.
My ex-wife was so cold that when you spread her legs a little white light came on.
Women are like wine: I can only afford the really cheap ones that have the big, ugly boxes that leak.
My ex-wife was so cold that when you spread her legs a little white light came on.
Women are like wine: I can only afford the really cheap ones that have the big, ugly boxes that leak.
10-23-2008, 01:59 AM
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Q: How are a woman's breasts and a Martini similar?
A: One is not enough, and three are too many.
Birth control pill: The other thing a woman can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.
Add "Come early on your first day" to that list of career advice that doesn't apply in the porn business.
Love is complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Q: How are a woman's breasts and a Martini similar?
A: One is not enough, and three are too many.
Birth control pill: The other thing a woman can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.
Add "Come early on your first day" to that list of career advice that doesn't apply in the porn business.
Love is complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.
10-23-2008, 10:02 AM
As You Slide Down the Bannister of Life, Remember
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People.'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6.. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'
11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, 'Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite.'
12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
13. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People.'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6.. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'
11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, 'Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite.'
12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
13. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
10-24-2008, 03:01 AM
Two men were talking. "My son asked me what I did during the Sexual Revolution," said one.
"I told him I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes.
"I told him I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes.
10-24-2008, 07:54 AM
Age is not important unless you're cheese or wine.
A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to
Load the car.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a mighty small bundle.
A man diving from a 60-foot platform into a pail of water is
Only a drop in the bucket
A night watchman is a man who earns his living without doing a
day's work.
What do you call it when two egotists butt heads? An I for an I!
What did the bartender ask Charles Dickens when he ordered a martini?
Olive or twist?
What's a shotgun wedding? A case of wife or death!
Sunglasses -A device invented that allows older, married men to letch young women wearing very little without their wives seeing them
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Confucius Says... Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
Confucius Says... "Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly."
Confucius Says ... Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to
Load the car.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a mighty small bundle.
A man diving from a 60-foot platform into a pail of water is
Only a drop in the bucket
A night watchman is a man who earns his living without doing a
day's work.
What do you call it when two egotists butt heads? An I for an I!
What did the bartender ask Charles Dickens when he ordered a martini?
Olive or twist?
What's a shotgun wedding? A case of wife or death!
Sunglasses -A device invented that allows older, married men to letch young women wearing very little without their wives seeing them
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Confucius Says... Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
Confucius Says... "Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly."
Confucius Says ... Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
10-24-2008, 09:23 AM
Q: Why were lesbians created?
A: So feminists couldn't reproduce!
The world according to men Every blowjob you give, adds one month to your life.
If you swallow, the protein ingested is equivalent to five porterhouse steaks - but contains only 150 calories.
A hand job a day keeps arthritis away.
Every ten minutes of dry humping is equivalent to ten minutes on the treadmill.
Doing it doggie-style will erase crow's feet and wrinkles.
Intercourse prevents divorce.
Regular screwing releases Vitamin F, which increases the number of brain cells.
Sex eliminates headaches.
A: So feminists couldn't reproduce!
The world according to men Every blowjob you give, adds one month to your life.
If you swallow, the protein ingested is equivalent to five porterhouse steaks - but contains only 150 calories.
A hand job a day keeps arthritis away.
Every ten minutes of dry humping is equivalent to ten minutes on the treadmill.
Doing it doggie-style will erase crow's feet and wrinkles.
Intercourse prevents divorce.
Regular screwing releases Vitamin F, which increases the number of brain cells.
Sex eliminates headaches.