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A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is
feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher
split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.


The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;


2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;


3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;

and


4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;


2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;


3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;

and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

I wonder who won???

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.


The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in .

P...


E...


N...


I...


S...


His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
*****PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

I've always wanted a simple explanation on how a compute works!

I know I spend a lot of time on computers (both home and at work) - But I don't think I'd take it this far!

TOP 10 REASONS WHY CYBER SEX IS BETTER



10) If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier then changing your real name.

9) Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional.

8) If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard.

7) You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing yourself.

6) Viagra! Who needs Viagra?

5) Your partner could have more of a personality than your inflatable friends.

4) Three words: No shotgun weddings.

3) All guys look like George Clooney and all woman like Pamela Anderson.

2) They never have to know you live in your parents basement.

1) If you catch a virus, only your computer dies.

COMPUTER TERMS

* PCMCIA -People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
* ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
* SCSI - System Can't See It
* DOS - Defective Operating System
* BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
* IBM - I Blame Microsoft
* DEC - Do Expect Cuts
* CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
* OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
* WWW - World Wide Wait
* MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
* PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
* COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
* AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
* LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
* MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
* WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
* MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
*RISC - Reduced Into Silly Code



And more....
* BIT - A word used to describe computers, as in "Our son's computer cost quite a bit."
* BOOT - What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills.
* BUG - What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list.
* CHIPS - The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.
* COPY - What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at the computer and not enough time studying.
* CURSOR - What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform, as in "You $#% computer!"
* DISK - What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip.
* DUMP - The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your computer.
* ERROR - What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to "just look."
* EXPANSION UNIT - The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.
* FILE - What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes.
* FLOPPY - The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see Chips).
* HARDWARE - Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting your computer.
* IBM - The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention to them again.
* MENU - What you'll never see again after buying a computer because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.
* MONITOR - Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass at school.
* PROGRAMS - Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up to it.
* RETURN - What lots of people do with their computers after only a week and a half.
* TERMINAL - A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers.
* WINDOW - What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program that took you three days to set up.

How a Blonde prints a computer document!

What is the difference between sex and computers? With computers, the software goes into the hardware. With sex, the hardware goes into the software

How do you know a blonde's been at your computer?



There's white out all over your screen.